5th of April 4th, 1984…

“what does the LORD require of you but to do justice…”


One of the Bible’s (OT and/or NT) foremost statements, mentions God’s topmost requirements from mankind, which is “to love/do justice…”
Well, if mankind’s self-righteous, mostly fundamentalist “christian” crowd would heed this basic advice, they would have to stone their god and his accomplices, simply because these scriptural books are by far, whosoever’s most blatant record of injustice against mostly unsuspecting innocents.
My inner rage against this sadistic display of injustice is paired only by a cancerous pain and sorrow for the countless victims of this merciless religion, closely followed by it’s prequel, judaism, and it’s sequel, islam, all just patched-up versions of ancient, human sacrifices requesting religions.
Because it’s utterly hard for me to decide if child sacrifices to Moloch were more vicious than leaving an entire nation to centuries of Egyptian slavery, or the sacrifice of a god’s son for the “sins” of others, or the raising to power of a god’s inquisitorial vicars, or eventually the public maiming of petty thieves, or hanging of infidels…
To expect the love of justice from heirs of countless generations of victims of gross injustice, amounts to a sadism against which the Inquisition’s methods could be considered as mere colloquialism.
A “story” we were told by one of the most idiotic zealots to call himself a “pastor” I have ever encountered, story which regardless if true or purely fictional, would make nevertheless a good point to what this so called “justice” is all about.
The tale speaks about soviet psychopath Joseph Stalin, inviting a western official to a protocol visit to his Kremlin. After usualties, the guest(s) asks Stalin about how could such a system manage to keep such a large nation into what couldn’t be called as less than oppressed submission? Stalin asked one of his attendants to bring him in, a live chicken. To the obvious shock of his guest(s), Stalin proceeds to pluck all poor live chicken’s feathers off, causing visible and violent injuries, and wounds to the innocent bird. He then calmly throws a handful of breadcrumbs on his own booted feet, laying the scared animal nearby. After a few moments of confusion, and as if nothing seems to have happened, the bleeding, naked bird starts to obnoxiously pick up the crumbs, feeding from atop the boots still sustaining the hands which savagely tortured her.
“You see?”, asked Stalin of his quietly shocked guests, “you can do whatever you want to your people, as long as you remember to feed them…”
Doesn’t this tragically resemble to all bleeding and naked religious yard-birds, thankfully saying “grace” over the usually just-about sufficient meals “provided” by the same god who just some weeks or months or years ago have maybe killed their children, husbands or wives, parents or any other loved ones, silently allowed a few world wars, a few holocausts, scripturally condones slavery, genocide, infanticide, just to name a few of these “how can’t you see” ones?
Unfortunately though, not all naked and wounded human chicken of this world have access to the scarcely provided crumbs.
The poor majority linger in overcrowded social ghettoes, silently awaiting for their well-fed gods to remember them when the time for the next culling-war of the useless’ time has come…
Allow me please, to leave you with some food-for-thought.
About some more than a decade ago, I was part of christian prison ministry, which included the highest security prison of a central European country. Only life-terms, over twenty years imprisonment for multiple and/or aggravated murder and others as such were given the “privilege” to “live” there.
On one occasion, the team leading pastor drifted downstairs with a group of Q&A, leaving me behind, alone and scared with the rest of this “elite” crowd…
One particular individual stood my way towering over my own more than 6 feet with his  7 feet and over 150 kg, asking the following:
“Is it worth being faithful to god and his commandments?”
“Of course,” I replied, “because god is love, and he has the best plan for all of us, regardless of what we’ve done!”
To which he sternly replied:
“I wonder what Job may have had to say to that…”
I left in silence, as on those dim stairs, for this locked-up for life inmate, my god-defending theology would have proved as irrelevant and humiliating, as all other religions. Because only after I have lost – as an already devout trainee minister – my own first two precious children, I understood why I should never again mention that god gave back Job more riches and more children than before.
To this day, not even the daily sight of my other precious children can ease the tormenting pain caused by the loss of my first two…
Because only a mercantile bastard would expect to be worshipped for giving “other” children to someone whose children he assassinated in the first place.

-to be continued…-

16 thoughts on “5th of April 4th, 1984…

  1. Although I have greatly worried and feared for my children’s safety and well-being, I have not lost a child, so I can only dare to imagine the heartache you have suffered. I really appreciate your contempt for teachings that would assume Job would have felt any differently, although as I understand his story, as well as the experiences of others who have lost a child, having another child can bring some measure of comfort. But that’s beside the point, isn’t it?

    I agree that if we are only instructed to love and do justice, we would, indeed, have to stone God and His accomplices, including me. But we are also instructed to love mercy and to be merciful. It takes wisdom and discernment to know which is expedient, and I know I have not always chosen the right course of action. If I err, I would rather err on the side of mercy . . . unless of course, the situation involved someone like a serial killer, who would only kill again if shown mercy, but I digress.

    “I am so sorry for you loss” seems so inadequate, but I am.


    1. Hi Ren,

      The core of my article is somewhat different than what you seem to have perceived. At a closer look you will see that it speaks about the hypocrisy displayed in expecting us to love and do justice, while the presumed author of it is guilty of all imaginable crimes, together with those who spoke/speak in his name, and I mainly meant his vicars of all denominations, as his true accomplices. Doesn’t it bother anyone, that for some reason the rich and powerful have always been granted the same special exemptions from the rules of law as god himself, with that poor chap stoned for gathering firewood over Sabbath, but with David having rather his child killed for adultery and subsequent murder, and left to enjoy his newly found love, with their other child as heir to the throne. Is this “justice” to anyone? No wonder the papacy saw it fit over the centuries to cover-up all its filthy criminals; the vicar does exactly what the authority does or condones… The rich and powerful are to be obeyed, respected, paid taxes even if they are evil slave masters, because they are supposed to be the defenders of the good? Isn’t this absurd to anyone? That little child in the picture above was dying on the streets of the Warsaw Jewish ghetto during WWII. Initially I added a text quoting what Jesus allegedly said about letting the little children to him, as theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven. I decided not to proceed as the memory of that little martyr deserves more than empty promises… I guess for him and all the other dying little ones in ghettos old and new, the promise of “do not worry about what to eat, drink and clothing, because your father in heaven will provide for your needs” may not have been valid, for reasons known only to god, all for the unquestionable glory of his holy name… I wonder which genocidal child murderer would be granted pardon after asking the judges to look at the “bigger picture” behind his sick “reasons”?

      Moshe Ben Yehuda On 23 Feb 2014 02:47, “Defiant Hopelessness” wrote:



      1. Moshe, I did perceive the core of your message, and I understand how you can perceive things as you expressed… at least I think I understand…. but my intent is not to debate. I follow your blog because I want to hear your perspective and to learn from you. You are very knowledgeable and have experienced much. You have been very respectful and gracious toward me, and I want to show you the same respect.


        1. Dear Rene,

          Not for one moment I have thought of debating at any level; I have come to loathe debating, because as I have mentioned before, I know what it is, and I have not perceived at all any desire for debate from your end, rest assured. I just wanted to clarify and detail my thoughts, because as you have noticed, my articles are becoming more specific on which religions I am writing about. I was extremely cautious until now trying not to hurt anyone’s feelings, but hurting with the truth might be more beneficial in the long run than lying. As you can see, my blog is not very much red… People are so hurt, that they aren’t willing to take any more pain, not even if they deeply feel that what they are willfully ignoring, might be true. Human life for the underprivileged majority revolves so much around the pain and vexation inflicted upon them by the privileged minority, that avoiding more pain and numbing the existing, has actually become the only thing that matters for the vast majority of this underprivileged majority. Successful blogs are about well presented illusions of hope, and I emotionally, fully understand that. Unfortunately, there’s us, the realistic few, who would have been happier to play a part in an “Inglorious basterds” scenario, than the one in “Schindler’s list” which we inherited from those who hoped in the system’s justice, until its cremated end.

          Moshe Ben Yehuda On 23 Feb 2014 11:21, “Defiant Hopelessness” wrote:



          1. I sense in you such a kind heart, one that is hurting, not only from the pain you have personally experienced but that which you also witness. Although most in the U.S. could count themselves as the privileged majority when compared to the rest of the world, relatively speaking, I have had a taste as both the underprivileged minority and privileged majority, and I strive to help relieve rather than inflict pain and vexation. But you’re right. Much of human life does revolve around the oppression of the privileged on the underprivileged. Another comment you made reminds me of this quote by Pietro Arentino: “I love you, and because I love you, I would sooner have you hate me for telling you the truth than adore me for telling you lies.” 🙂


  2. I can feel your pain my friend. In 2013 I lost two unborn kids as well, 3 months and 4 months old male/female in less than 6 months distance. Pregnancy complications and malformation… If there is a divine creature who loves us, then he sure doesn’t, otherwise he could have let my two kids live… God will have to stand before me for judgement with his eyes and face into the ground and ask for my forgiveness, which I won’t give him and will send him to hell forever (trying to treat him by his same standards he treats us)


    1. Dear Mike, for your better understanding of my rage, you have to know also that we wanted so much at that time, twin girls…
      And we prayed and believed “the good lord” would grant our desire. And he did give us twin girls…, just conjoined in such a way, they wouldn’t even survive until birth, and genetically so wrong that my wife’s life has become seriously threatened.
      So who says god doesn’t answer prayer? That was the LAST time I’ve seen answer to prayer, which I wish not even my enemies would get…
      Following that I waited 15 years in ministry to give him time to tell me why. I gave up ultimately. I am so sorry for the wasted time.
      Also for your loss…
      If there’s “that day” I’ll stand in the accusation line with you, and our precious unborn…


  3. “Not for one moment I have thought of debating at any level; I have come to loathe debating”

    I think I see where you are coming from here. Debate implies many silly things that I have no interest in. I however, am interested in sharing experiences and beliefs. Whether these beliefs win some imagined debate is just nonsense altogether.

    I came to your blog from Olivia Casey’s blog. I have not had any of my children ever hurt but I have had events happen in my family. It wasn’t even directly to me. It happened to my niece most of all, and then to my brother second, and to my niece’s sister third before I even begin to enter the picture. But everything about the way I thought and loved was poisoned. And the poison never goes away. This happened May 13, 2006. The wound never healed and you can never “pick up the pieces” if those you love are gone. My wife tells me I am much more functional than I was following that time. But I can not feel any decrease in the rawness when I think about what happened. When I think about the facts being real it is still like a bucket of cold water hitting me.

    I am not suggesting any sort of parity. There is no parity. My children are both fine. But I don’t feel right reading your post and saying nothing either.

    Peace to you Moshe


    1. Dear Friend,
      I went back and forth reading and thinking through your comment, and still don’t understand beyond the offered explanation at the end, the core reason of it. Don’t misread me, I am thankful for your words, I do understand your feelings re your personal experience, your empathy re my own pain, still yet, there’s a defensive edge to your words, I’d rather like to hear about. I have visited your blog, read through some of your thoughts, and about your background, and I have a sense of reading from a good lawyer who would cautiously not display his own innermost feelings, when analysing a case…
      At times you seem passionately identifying yourself with some of your analytical thoughts, at others you seem rather distant. Corroborated with what you wrote about the unfading rawness of your returning thoughts re the sufferings which occurred in your closer family, it reminds me of traces of deism…
      I may be wrong, and just allowed myself to evaluate on little evidence, but I’d gladly continue a dialogue, should you wish so…
      And by the way, I still need to ask why exactly didn’t you feel right, reading my post?
      Shalom to you as well, my friend.


  4. Thank you for the kind words. I do indeed try to make most of what I post on my blog a bit detached and unemotional. There are a few reasons for that.

    And there is nothing wrong with evaluating me on little evidence since that is all you have to go on. 🙂 I do the same, and think that is a good thing. (as long as we keep an open mind for new and different evidence.)

    There is no need for me to be cryptic about what happened. One of my Brother’s daughters was murdered by his wife ( the girl’s mother) when she was not yet 4 years old because she had autism.

    It wasn’t that I didn’t feel right reading your post. I didn’t feel right reading it and not sharing some of my experiences. Since you asked a good questions as to why I felt that way, I thought about it. And really i don’t know. It doesn’t really make sense that I thought that way. Possibly because I was trying to relate to what you were saying and that is what came to mind. . But it was the picture that originally made me think of her. But, regardless, I am not sure why I posted about it.

    But I am sure I wish you well, and I am sorry for grief.


    1. Oh my dear friend, what you just shared about the tragedy in your family…, it nailed my heart to my soul.
      Please accept my deepest regrets for your family’s unreplaceable loss…
      I will follow your thoughts, honoured to be read too as you may think so.
      Best weekend to you all.


  5. I have no words to express my shock and sadness at the loss of your twin girls, and I cannot even imagine what you and your wife have been through. I don’t wish to offend you really and am not 100% sure whether I should write this, but I feel I need to say as this strikes me a deep cord within “If there’s “that day” I’ll stand in the accusation line with you, and our precious unborn…” if what I have to understand in these years about God, there will not be an accusation line for none of the people/ parents on judgement day (while religious dogmas will have us believe otherwise) I do recall my spiritual mentor saying that there is a special part of the Heaven containing the souls of those who could not make it whatever the reasons, and that a reunion awaits the parents and them, in there after.
    Once again, to say I am sorry for your loss, seems very inadequate, but never-the-less I am.


    1. You are kind and tender hearted, your thoughts are most welcome, as they stream from compassion and honesty.
      Thank you.


    1. Thank you from the heart Phil, I wish sometimes I would have never needed to write my pain, but I have to. Maybe this way further pain could be prevented. All my best, Sir.


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