Angst…

In times of loneliness, when all seems lost, from deep within your solitude an embrace shall reach the tears of your anguish, watering fragile strings of wildness, resonating echoes of your primal self. And as they grow, small purple flowers will obscure unwanted daylights...   © @WingsAutistic - Liberty of Thinking

The #autistic lives of pines…

I was born in Northern Transylvania's Maramures, at the feet of majestic mountains, covered by ancient, noble forests, with their trees as brothers to us, and sisters. Strong beeches, venerable oaks, solitary pines, imbued with the crystalline waters of pure streams … It's the pines which fascinated my people for millennia, giving us our cradles, … Continue reading The #autistic lives of pines…

It’s “official”, I am Actually Autistic…

Since my last post in June, (I hope 😊) you might have noticed my absence, with only some misty mentions of having been withdrawn in my academic shell, and some even more elusive 'reason' for delaying more new posts… The truth is that I have indeed managed to (I again, hope 😊) successfully complete the … Continue reading It’s “official”, I am Actually Autistic…

Eighth of Asperger’s Ten Traits – “Trapped, […] pretending to be normal”

"8) We are ourselves and we aren’t ourselves. Between imitating others and copying the ways of the world, and trying to be honest, and having no choice but to be “real”, we find ourselves trapped between pretending to be normal and showing all our cards. It’s a difficult state. Sometimes we don’t realize when we … Continue reading Eighth of Asperger’s Ten Traits – “Trapped, […] pretending to be normal”

The “mens sana in corpore sano” War Against Autistics, Dyslexics and Dyspraxics…

(Multiple Trigger Alert: Accounts of Abuse and Humiliation Against Autistics, Dyslexics, Dyspraxics!!!) Please don't be offended by this post if you're an athlete or someone else who believes in what I consider to be the myth of "a healthy mind in a healthy body"… Because while I don't mind at all if you earnestly believe … Continue reading The “mens sana in corpore sano” War Against Autistics, Dyslexics and Dyspraxics…

Sixth of Asperger’s Ten Traits – “We have feelings of dread about even one event on the calendar”

"6) We seek refuge at home or at a safe place. The days we know we don’t have to be anywhere, talk to anyone, answer any calls, or leave the house, are the days we take a deep breath and relax. If one person will be visiting, we perceive the visit as a threat; knowing logically … Continue reading Sixth of Asperger’s Ten Traits – “We have feelings of dread about even one event on the calendar”

Stimming vs Fidgeting…

I personally think it is unfortunate that many NDs have so easily accepted that stimming is "just" the autistic version of fidgeting, because as I see it, the difference is actually neurobiological. The problem starts with wrongly associating stimming with anxiety relief, concentration and other similar, secondary types of human behaviour, because while fidgeting does … Continue reading Stimming vs Fidgeting…

Asperger’s, the desperately beautiful trap of my soul…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qAP4XWJxDaY I feel again and again, like my soul is trapped in a desperately, beautiful way in this song… According to the "world", I live with Asperger's; the world with which I feel like communicating the way this transcendent performance does, in a desperate attempt to make myself understood without being hurt, again and again, silently … Continue reading Asperger’s, the desperately beautiful trap of my soul…

Fifth of Asperger’s Ten Traits – “… people aren’t as open or trusting as we are”

"5) We learn that to fit in we have to “fake” it. Through trial and error, we lost friends. We over-shared, spilling out intimate details to strangers; we raised our hand too much in class, or didn’t raise our hand at all; we had little impulse control with our speaking, monopolizing conversations and bringing the … Continue reading Fifth of Asperger’s Ten Traits – “… people aren’t as open or trusting as we are”

Fourth of Asperger’s Ten Traits – “We still question our place in the world…”

"4) We have comorbid attributes of other syndromes/disorders/conditions. We often have OCD tendencies (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder), sensory issues (with sight, sound, texture, smells, taste), generalized anxiety and/or a sense we are always unsafe or in pending danger, particularly in crowded public places. We may have been labelled with seemingly polar extremes: depressed/over-joyed, lazy/over-active, inconsiderate/over-sensitive, lacking awareness/attention … Continue reading Fourth of Asperger’s Ten Traits – “We still question our place in the world…”