“10) We have difficulty with executive functioning. The way we process the world is different. Tasks that others take for granted, can cause us extreme hardship. Learning to drive a car, to tuck in the sheets of a bed, to even round the corner of a hallway, can be troublesome. Our spatial awareness and depth-awareness seems off. Some will never drive on a freeway, never parallel park, and/or never drive. Others will panic following directions while driving. New places offer their own set of challenges. Elevators, turning on and off faucets, unlocking doors, finding our car in a parking lot, (even our keys in our purse), and managing computers, electronic devices, or anything that requires a reasonable amount of steps, dexterity, or know-how can rouse in us a sense of panic. While we might be grand organizers, as organizing brings us a sense of comfort, the thought of repairing, fixing, or locating something causes distress. Doing the bills, cleaning the house, sorting through school papers, scheduling appointments, keeping track of times on the calendar, and preparing for a party can cause anxiety. Tasks may be avoided. Cleaning may seem insurmountable. Where to begin? How long should I do something? Is this the right way? Are all questions that might come to mind. Sometimes we step outside of ourselves and imagine a stranger entering our home, and question what they would do if they were in our shoes. We reach out to others’ rules of what is right, even in isolation, even to do the simplest of things. Sometimes we reorganize in an attempt to make things right or to make things easier. Only life doesn’t seem to get easier. Some of us are affected in the way we calculate numbers or in reading. We may have dyslexia or other learning disabilities. We may solve problems and sort out situations much differently than most others. We like to categorize in our mind and find patterns, and when ideas don’t fit, we don’t know where to put them. Putting on shoes, zipping or buttoning clothes, carrying or packing groceries, all of these actions can pose trouble. We might leave the house with mismatched socks, our shirt buttoned incorrectly, and our sweater inside out. We find the simple act of going grocery shopping hard: getting dressed, making a list, leaving the house, driving to the store, and choosing objects on the shelves is overwhelming.”
Used with permission from @everydayaspergers. Originally published in Samantha Croft‘s -now former- blog, Everyday Asperger’s, as The Ten Traits.
Again, adding anything to Sam Croft’s brilliant detailing of the incredible stress caused to individuals with (HF)Autism and Asperger’s by what “others take for granted”, is hardly possible.
Being blessed/cursed with an intellect way beyond average and having stopped apologising about it especially to neurotypicals who think that being smart means wearing certain (otherwise stupidly uncomfortable) clothes, I decided to use my neurobiological compulsion for honesty, for openly appreciating or criticising what’s worth my time and effort…
Well, in Samantha Croft’s case, I hope to have repeatedly made myself loudly clear about how pleased I am to take a bow as many times I read The Ten Traits, considering it a proper diamond in the hard nutshell of understanding the unique individuality of Asperger’s, wholeheartedly recommending it to anyone having started to understand first of all their own, or their loved ones’ neurodivergence.
What’s left for me to write? Some of my own experience, following Sam’s lead.
-“to […] round the corner of a hallway” – Blessed art thou, who don’t need to go around the corner of a simple hallway, firstly by significantly slowing down your pace, secondly by following your path by nearly rubbing your shoulder against the wall opposite that corner, and thirdly even so, managing sometimes to bruise your corner’s side shoulder against it. And if there’s no corner, there will be an open door, the same armchair, coffee table, anything which should be somewhere else… And if there’s nothing in your way, your brain will desperately attempt to find a pattern-like structure to align itself by, in which case everything returns to square one…
-“Some will […] never parallel park” – So here’s my problem: every time I attempt to park my car between other cars, my brain gets short-circuited between using as a reference my door’s inferior window frame, the cars on each side, the cars in front/behind me, continuously disturbed by the crisscrossing pedestrians, the very annoying but vital noise of my car’s parking sensors, and on top of all my occasional, all-knowing passenger who genuinely wants to help, and for whom I’m thinking of installing a badly needed “eject seat” button…
-“We may have Dyslexia…” – and also Dyspraxia, and Dyscalculia, and Irlen Syndrome, but that doesn’t seem to exclude mastering several languages, several degrees, several musical instruments.
Is there anything else left to say?
Yes:
THEORETICAL PHILOSOPHY 
Curious, how’s your hand at art?
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Hmm, tricky matter…
Being dyspraxic, which impairs my gross movement coordination, left me overly ambidextrous in regard of my fine movements, if I’m allowed the necessary time. Strange enough, it turns out that driving, which is pretty much handling the wheel with fine movements, goes really well, until parking comes up…
Further to your question, many years ago I discovered some special affinity to fixing mechanical watches, discovering that I’m really good with very fine tools. To my surprise, about a year ago I attended a pottery session, where I made some complicated freehand pieces including a rather funny version of a Faberge egg and a 3D chain fragments composition, to the utter surprise of the teacher, who said she never saw something similar, after they resisted and made it through the furnace… Well, I was surprised, too…
I dabble sometimes in drawing and small detail painting, having been selected many years ago for a public expo.
Next plans (which means this Sunday 😉) include polychrome clay miniature modelling, for which I already have the kit ready. If it turns out well, I’ll post some pictures 🤞😎
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Reblogged this on yarn and pencil.
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Thank You very much 💐🌹
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Sometimes I wonder if ignorance really is curable😕
I like the idea of the passenger seat eject button😂😂 I’ve known many many NT people that couldn’t parallel park if their lives depended on it. Or drive safely for that matter.😱😧 Thanks for the share. Great info, as always.👍🌟
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Thank you KBG, I must agree with you, even though I’ve seen some ignorance appearing as cured, but I’ll give it some time 😜As for parking, I can tell who’s on the spectrum by the number of tries. NT’s usually give up after second, while a proper ND would continue at least beyond 5 attempts 🖖
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I think you might be on to something there😂👍
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I’ve just been reading back on all ten of these…. it’s like seeing my personality mapped out by someone who’s never met me, slightly freaked out now (but in a good way 😊) Thank you x
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Well, rest assured I had similar thoughts when reading some of your posts 😇 I also know how you feel about waiting, as it took me about a year to get through with my NHS diagnosis, but it’s over now. I already got in touch with my recommended regional autism support organisation, and am waiting now for their scheduling for support meetings. If you need any help for clarification about the diagnostic process and follow up, let me know 🤓
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Corners, chairs, doors, and especially bathtubs are out to get you, and I have the bruises to prove it…
But, by your standards, I can’t be proper ND, because unless the space is three times the length of my car, I won’t attempt to parallel park at all! i learned how to do it in my driving lessons with great difficulty, fortunately wasn’t asked to do it in the test, and have assiduously avoided it since.
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Isn’t that a bit too long of an extrapolation to say that according to “my” standards you can’t be a ND because of what you mentioned, as I haven’t really stated anything as such? Sorry, but I’m literally literal. 🤓
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Yes, of course it is. I only meant that because you said in a reply to someone else’s comment that an NT would try twice to parallel park whereas an ND would try at least five times. I won’t try even once, so what does that make me? However, I also perceived your reply as not entirely serious. By the same token, I do not seriously think that you would set up “number of attempts at parallel parking” as a standard to measure anyone against, or even that you are in the business of measuring others against any standards at all. I was exaggerating for comic effect. Where’s a sarcasm flag emoji when you need one? 😄
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Oh, and by “your reply” I don’t mean your reply to my comment, I meant your earlier reply to the earlier comment. And now I’m worried that I’m overexplaining everything. Oh dear…☺️
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Ah, that’s where I got confused 🤓😜 I remembered the comment reply to KBG on NDs 5 times, but didn’t find the NDs 3 spaces in my mental hardware 🤓 Yep, I’d really love a sarcasm emoji, until then I usually employ this one: 😜 Unfortunately at the end of my reply to Gran I used 🖖
Bazinga 🤓
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Oh good, I can go to bed now and don’t have to lie awake half the night fretting that I’ve been misunderstood. And that’s not even an exaggeration! I had a miscommunication earlier today so I was feeling a bit sensitive on that score already. But it’s all good 👍🖖🏼
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I’ve noticed that working on my executive functioning does save time but continues to drain me of energy, so much that when the weekend comes, I still crash to reboot.
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Same here, and it’s getting worse every time, like I’m running out of a limited amount of resources with every recharge, and the recharge times are ever longer…
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